If you're feeling lost, broken, tired or just frustrated with life, know this — it is never too late to find yourself, it's never too late to start over, it's never too late to wipe the slate clean.

I'm turning 40 this year and it's a big deal to me. Not because I'm worried about things like the odd wrinkle (I can't say that about my grey hairs though - they do bother me) but because I'm not where I want to be at 40.

So, I’ve been soul searching and here are three tools I’m using to combat the feelings of negativity that arise from staring at a life that hasn't quite worked out how you wanted it to.

Be thankful

I bet you weren't expecting me to start with that. You're feeling lost, broken, tired and frustrated — what is there to be thankful for? Despite these feelings I'm pretty confident there is a lot to be thankful for. Maybe it's health, family, friends, maybe it's opportunity, a job, food on the table or just the sunshine.

For me, it's being aware that despite not being anywhere near where I want to be financially (on a personal level), I'm thankful to be happily married, to have two healthy boys and to be healthy myself (despite some post baby work to do). My husband and I have worked well as a team, pooling resources like finances, time, physical effort and knowledge, resulting in a small property portfolio. (I’m ignoring the voice that tells me to shrink from this and to remove this statement). As a couple we're doing quite well financially, but as a team, I feel like I'm letting the side down.

I know from experience that focusing on the many things we have to be thankful for has a remarkable impact on our mental health and general life view. So go on, count your blessings.

Be aware

If you're not where you want to be then it’s important to be understand why. Looking back, where have you failed. Be kind to yourself though. I tell my four year old son that there is nothing wrong with failure so long as we learn something. Granted we’re talking about more serious things than not being able to build the lego how you wanted, but the same lesson applies.

So, what do you need to do differently in the area of life that you're unhappy with?

For me, I am clear that my personal financial situation is lacklustre because I chose to be self employed, I stretched myself too thin across multiple business areas for too long, and I invested heavily in an under funded, bootstrapped infobwana.com and shopbwana.com which are in (have been in 😀) a difficult economic environment, one that most savvy investors would avoid!

You also need to be aware of exactly where you want to get to. To illustrate, I have written down, how much I want to earn, how much I want to weigh, how I want to feel, and the things I want to do in my life. All areas are covered — work, marriage, parenting, home, hobbies, spiritual, giving... I have it mapped out. You need to spend some time and have some fun mapping out the life you want.

When you have awareness about why you find yourself in particular situations, in your finances or relationships, for example, then you have the power to make changes. When you have awareness of where you want to go exactly, then you have the power to move in that direction.

Your awareness of the life you want is like a lighthouse on a dark sea, guiding you towards the way you need to lead your life, in order to have the life you want.

Be positive

Keep an open mind. Keep working on the the things that elude you. Keep believing that your time will come. Don't allow negative self talk to way you down. Wipe language like, 'I will never get there' from your lips.

Rather, speak affirmations, speak hope, speak positivity.

Age is nothing

If you are thankful, aware and positive then you are more able to enjoy the life you have, while you work on achieving the life you want.

If you are enjoying the life you have while you work on the life you want, it really doesn't matter if you are in your twenties, thirties, forties or fifties does it?

It's never too late to find yourself. Here's to you making the changes you need to make and flourishing fiercely.